Sweet, glorious spare time - poorly utilised but fervently enjoyed, oh how I love you so. I have had chance to gather my thoughts over the last few days and do a few chores that sorely needed doing. As of today, however, the flat is reasonably tidy (including my bedroom, possibly for the first time since I moved in) the recycling has been done, even most of the glass; a few emails have been sent and, um, that's it really. Nevertheless I am feeling much more accomplished than the previous few sentences would suggest. It is very true that the state of your environment affects your mindframe, I believe. Tidying ones own belongings can be very therapeutic. This is probably why it is so much more difficult than tidying up other peoples mess, especially when you aren't in the right mood for it.

I went to speak to the antique shop on Hyde Park corner before about collecting my Ottoman. It's gorgeous - vivid pastel violet, curling lines and floral print on the cushion. I've discovered to my delight that I really enjoy looking round the antique shops. I'm thinking of going round a few antique fairs and getting some old pieces to do up over the summer. I'd imagine it's probably pretty easy to botch up but we learn by doing, after all.
I love the juxtaposition of old and new - antique desks with painted on motifs, gilt mirrors with feathers and beads. Fleur de Lis in bright pink on turquoise. They have a real tiki bar for sale - faded pink plastic fringing, bamboo and a suspended swinging rack for drinks. It's hideous, I love it.

Presumably because of the high turnover of tennants in our flats, there is always a pile of unclaimed mail in our building. It accumulates into an increasingly unmanagable pile until every couple of months, someone (maintenance?) throws it away and the whole process begins again. T Elbrigani, Joseph Webster and a girl who lived in our flat called Sarah something. Sarah was evidently a subscriber to Heat magazine. The last 2 weeks I have been reading it on her behalf. I forgot how unattractive that kind of magazine is. Their voice is one of such nasty, insecure, unappealing women. Example: This week they had a section called "The Naked Truth" featuring photoshoots they had done with female celebrities like Davina McCall and Fearne Cotton without makeup and airbrushing.
Ostensibly, the purpose of this was to promote a better female body image, to show how even beautiful glamorous women have flaws like the rest of us, how magazines like themselves purport an unrealistic standard of beauty etc etc etc. Which is sort of commendable, in a way, but then they undermine all of it by putting on the cover to illustrate the story, a picture of Fearne Cotton from the article, sans maquillage - with the caption, "Crikey, look at Fearne Cotton!" To be honest she doesn't even really look that bad anyway. This is just so typical of the hypocritical and contradictory nature of this kind of "Journalism" (and by extension, the people it is aimed at) - nasty, bitter and a victim of it's own worldview. Embaressing.

Incidentally, there is also a picture of Lauren Laverne which touts her as a DJ. I only know who this woman is due to remembering her being quite annoying in Kenickie and then presenting a Buffy documentary that coincided with the premiere of the first episode of season 6 in the uk, in which she was also quite annoying. She has cropped up every so often since then, generally in roles that highlight her capacity for annoyance. I am expecting her to migrate into the lower tiers of the super yacht industry any day now, before beginning a lacklustre career in space travel.

How many no money boyz are crazy
How many boyz are raw?
How many no money boyz are rowdy
How many start a war?

- M.I.A

How unusual.

Sophie has moved into the flat for a couple of weeks to keep me company until it's time to move into the new house. We were carrying the last of her stuff in when we saw the strangest thing.. a cat being chased by two birds!! They were really pissed off as well, the cat was bricking it.

excuse the grammar; it was an messenger conversation. Nazism in the name of Grammar is not okay!

This statement is a lie. says:
u never did tel me if that holes documentary was real

fenrif.avi says:
i did, and it is

fenrif.avi says:
as far as i know

This statement is a lie. says:
thats so good

This statement is a lie. says:
that renews my faith in humanity

fenrif.avi says:
what? some guy not being able to find a hole

fenrif.avi says:
?

This statement is a lie. says:
yes

fenrif.avi says:
haha

fenrif.avi says:
your silly

This statement is a lie. says:
AT LEAST I LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE A MAN CANT FIND A HOLE FENRIF

fenrif.avi says:
i live in that same world pip... you wouldnt have even known about that film if i hadnt shown you it

fenrif.avi says:
sometimes i think people dont understand how awesome i am with my abilities to find new and exciting media of all forms and verietes... and how benevolent i am in sharing them with my friends

fenrif.avi says:
IM A FUCKING SUPERHEROE!

fenrif.avi says:
haha

This statement is a lie. says:
that makes me your nemesis

fenrif.avi says:
only if you activly seek out bad entertainment and hten keep it to yourself

This statement is a lie. says:
well funnily enough fenrif

This statement is a lie. says:
thats exactly what i do

fenrif.avi says:
haha your such a bad liar

fenrif.avi says:
where do you go to find these new unexciting forms of entertainment then?

This statement is a lie. says:
nowhere

This statement is a lie. says:
thats the point

fenrif.avi says:
YOUR the point

fenrif.avi says:
if you were an animal youd be a narwhal

fenrif.avi says:
and youd love it... with all your narwhal friends. playing stupid narwhal games

fenrif.avi says:
"ohh look at me pip the narwhal, im sooooo cool because im a narwhal"

fenrif.avi says:
noone belives your narwhal lies, especially not your nugly narwhal wives

fenrif.avi says:
pssshhh narwhal

fenrif.avi says:
i bet your even behind the north korean kidnappings of japanese citizens

fenrif.avi says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Korean_abductions_of_Japanese

This statement is a lie. says:
yeah thats a little side thing I'm workin on

This statement is a lie. says:
you know

This statement is a lie. says:
just sort of trying out a few ideas, seeing if it takes off

This statement is a lie. says:
the usa are pretty interested actually

fenrif.avi says:
in north korea kidnapping japanese citizens?

fenrif.avi says:
tahts just the sort of thin usa is nito

fenrif.avi says:
did you know the usa withdrew from the human right council last week?

This statement is a lie. says:
no

This statement is a lie. says:
no i didnt

This statement is a lie. says:
thats insane

This statement is a lie. says:
why!

This statement is a lie. says:
"we just dont think basic human rights are, you know, a good idea"

This statement is a lie. says:
"what with them being for the good of individual human lives and all"

fenrif.avi says:
i think theyre just trying to fuck the country up as much as they can. so that when the democrats come into power theyll spend their whole term trying to fix it, and failing. while fox news and all the other right wingers tell people "look at what a mess theyve made" so they reeelect the republicans in the elections after

This statement is a lie. says:
good tactics, really

This statement is a lie. says:
urgh

This statement is a lie. says:
when will the world realise it would be so much better if we were in charge

This statement is a lie. says:
well,, me

This statement is a lie. says:
you can be my second hand guy

This statement is a lie. says:
right hand guy

This statement is a lie. says:
whatever

fenrif.avi says:
second right hand guy?

fenrif.avi says:
or right second hand guy?

This statement is a lie. says:
both

It's a real shame M Night Shyamalan turned out to be a bit of a none starter. I just watched Unbreakable on the tv and was reminded of how genuinely decent I think that film is. I remember going to see it in the cinema with Nicky Magee - the day after I had my haircut, and got very upset when I washed it and it looked nothing like it did in the hairdressers - and being pleasantly surprised by how moving I found it. It's well written, has a twist that isn't visible from a mile off, and inspires a lump in the throat without ever being overtly sentimental. And then it all went so wrong.. the Village is creepy and well thought out but just feels a bit stale and flat. I've avoided Signs and Lady in the Water (and it was a sensible decision by all accounts) and I was never massively impressed by the Sixth Sense, but I've always had a fondness for Unbreakable. The Happening, however, looks fairly promising. Perhaps a remedy to his fall from grace? Time will tell.

Network Rail have become the bane of my existence. The more often I get the train, the more I am in shock about how terrible the service they provide is and how expensive it is! A train journey from Leeds to London on saturday that should have been direct and taken 2.5 hours tops, took almost 4 and I had to change 3 times, with one leg of the journey being taken by bus. And I paid 55 quid for the privilage! I'm going to start my own alternative rail service which is powered entirely by peoples dissatisfaction with rail services. Projected passengers for our first quarter are 99.5% of all British rail users, with a 0.5% margin of error. Seriously though, when it costs more and takes longer to get a train somewhere rather than fly, how can people be blamed for using planes? It's cheaper to, for example, fly to Germany and back than it is to pay full fare down to Brighton. That's really stupid.

I'm also falling in love... with my new phone. It's like a fairytale romance. It was like fate... I rang T Mobile on the off chance; you know, not really looking for anything, and it all just kind of happened. This sexy little fucker came into my life and started making all my dreams come true. It's like we're best friends. It knows everything I want before I even know I want it. If I want to make a movie of my totally gross and embaressingly incurred foot injury, N95 is there. If I need to take pictures of plesiosaurs in the natural history museum or check my facebook on an overly long train journey, it's no problem at all for my ever patient N95! On a phonecall in a shop and need to take a telephone number quickly but don't have a pen or paper or human friend about to indelibly print the number in their mind? Can N95 have the number input whilst still on the other call? Of course it can, what a silly question! I've yet to discover its full capabilities but I would not be surprised if they include full personal organiser abilities, alarms that actually wake me up and the ability to transport matter forwards and backwards through time.

My boyfriend is in London and my roomate is in Bristol and I am in Leeds, remembering how much I dislike living alone. This flat is abundant with strange noises. I'm trying vainly to upload the photos off my old phone to my laptop so that I can migrate to my shiny spanking new phone that arrived today (at 7.30 am, cheers T Mobile.) Unfortunately technology, like a deadbeat divorcee parent, has a habit of making wonderful promises and utterly failing to live up to them, leaving sad eyed children in it's wake.

I need to do some serious tidying. My life, once again, is strewn around me in every available space. I need to get a train around two tomorrow. So I could either sleep now, get up early, try and enforce some kind of order on my chaotic surroundings but probably not get up until an hour before I need to leave - or, I could tidy now, not sleep until the sunrises and probably not get up until an hour before I need to leave.

The price of my return ticket just jumped up 45 QUID in the space of 5 minutes. The Uk rail system is a joke. It would probably be cheaper to fly.

I was going to write more but I'm going to go and weep into my pillow at the sheer irrational expense of getting ABSOLUTELY ANYWHERE IN BRITAIN.

Goodnight.